I'm Hiding In My Box.

 Hey y'all.  

It's hard to believe that a year has almost gone by since this picture was taken at the Grand Canyon with Leaha and Wes. What an amazing tour that was. It warmed my heart to look through them and remember.  

I remember jogging in beautiful western Kansas where the wind never stops and the sun never sets. I remember Colorado Springs where lightening was so close because of elevation and snow fell during that lightening storm. It made the snowflakes electric like many tiny fireflies.  

I remember SoCal, it's busy streets but yet laid back coastal town-ness. Wonderful friends new and old; mountains rising out of the desert. It's spirit still draws me back.  

I remember the trip home through Montana. Where the Rockies were on our right and painted mountains on our left. Old mining routes and trails of history beckoned us to listen more closely to the history book we had purchased.  

Salt Lake City was a haven to quickly passed. I understand why Mormons thought it Eden.  

We entered Iowa and stayed at one of the worst hotels I've ever been in. We slept on top of the comforter because we were afraid of the sheets. We prayed we didn't hear gunfire in the night or that our possessions would still be there in the morning. Hoping that we'd reach Chicago in time to stop at our favorite Chicago dog place, Mickey's, before reaching home.  

Yeah, it was a great trip and tour. I will always remember this trip. I thought I took Leaha and Wes for their memories, but look who's holding them tight right now? 

Sorry to get so nostalgic on you all of a sudden. But life has been moving at such a frenetic pace since Christmas, I can't seem to see past my nose. Wes and Leaha are growing up fast. Leaha has a good job that she's excelling at even though she has one more year of school. Wes is 16 and working more and more with grandpa at the carpet shop. Pretty soon he'll be driving too and probably not at home so much.  

It's just funny how this much change is making me hide. I've been fairly inward lately. Looking at the stars while I can't seem to sleep until I'm too tired to stay awake. Jogging in the early evening because it's hard to come home. Nature has always been a friend and so hearing birds and feeling the warmth and wind on my face brings me peace.  

My kids are growing up. It's beautiful and extremely sad. My music is, I don't know, absent from my heart, like walking through a store in a strange city and hearing a familiar voice but you know it can't be. There's a sadness of sorts. Can't put my finger or feeling on it. But I know I'm hiding. I've closed the flaps of my box like I used to as a child and I hide in the dark watching my moms legs pass by truly believing she doesn't know where I am yet hoping she comes looking for me, worried that I've gone missing. It's just a feeling I remember. Wanting to be wanted, or making sure I matter. Take your pick, or both.  

Well the moon has a halo of cloud around it so it's peering through the haze at me, telling me it's time to sleep. I have to get up early and take Leaha to work. Thanks for listening to this older man ramble and stumble through life. I still haven't found my footing this year and it's already the end of March.  

I hope you're all doing well and I pray Peace finds you wherever you are. Especially if you're hiding in a box.  

Ted